Heavy Thinking

Missed the New Moon. I have a candle and some sage tonight instead. It's the thought that counts?

Anyway, I have a very important consideration going on in my head right now. I have a very personal choice to make, and I need to make sure I'm making it for the right reasons. I'm doing some reading, some serious thinking, and definitely praying about it.

As far as life in general, things have been rather normal. Work, getting ready for the fall semester of school, and learning new things about Wicca. I think people are pretty much students all their lives.

Harry Potter and How I Found Wicca

Or maybe Wicca found me...

With the recent release of the final Harry Potter movie, that seems to be all anyone is talking about. I, too, am a huge fan of this series. I wasn't allowed to read the books or watch the movies when they first came out. When I was about 15, I decided I was old enough and started taking the books out of the library. When my mom found out she was furious.
Mostly because I had gone behind her back, but also because she felt that the books didn't mesh with our beliefs. Magic and witchcraft and all that. They used Latin words in the books, and that's what real witches used to cast spells. I was properly worried back then. Maybe a year later it was still bothering me. So I began reading about "real witches" to see if she was right.

I don't know about you, but I don't know any witches who actually wave their wands and say "Wingardium Leviosa".

Since then I secretly thought that Wicca was kind of cool-- in that "my parents totally don't approve of this at all" sort of way. I didn't actually hit the rebellious teen phase until I was about 19 or 20 though. Through the years, my Christian faith began to feel less and less personal. I was about 21 when I went back to reading about Wicca. I could picture myself as a Solitary. My faith would be mine, it would be personal, there would be no church deciding how I should worship. I read just about everything I could get my hands on, and decided that this was the right path for me.

I've only been on my path for a short time, but it's more real to me than my family's faith had been for a long time.

New Moon

Odd energies are all over the place. I haven't noticed much, but I did spontaneously decide to smudge my room yesterday (not something I do very often as my dad and two brothers can't stand the smell of burning sage). Last night my cat went around the house picking fights with the other two- not normal behavior for her at all!

Living in a not-wiccan-friendly house, I'm trying to find a good way to cleanse that doesn't look witchy, but will get the job done.

Also, I plan on doing my esbat tonight, as I will be working tomorrow night. I guess most people hold Full Moon esbats, but I've always been just as drawn to the New, and it has a certain significance in my life. The significance right now is that it is a good time for rejuvenation. I could use a bit of that right now. My mom had surgery on her abdomen to fix a couple problems, but the sling she was in to hold her at the right angle messed up her shoulders. She hasn't been able to get back in the swing of things, and needs someone to help her a lot. LittleBro isn't the best person for the job, and OlderBro and Dad have to be at work every day. I have very flexible and varying hours at my job, so I'm home a lot. So I help. I get her ice or heating packs ever hour if she needs them. I help her with her meds, her bloodsugar testing, putting the footrest up and down (she's sleeping in the recliner chair in the living room), help her get dressed and undressed, and go to work when I'm scheduled. Very often I sleep on the couch so that I'm nearby if she needs something.

I'm not trying to complain; I love my mom, and I want her to be able to get better, not worse. I just need a little me-time to refresh.

Happy Solstice!

I hope everyone has a Blessed Litha! I'll be at work during the day, so when I take my break, I'll see if I can sit outside to eat. I can't have any candles, but I wrote a little Litha Blessing for my lunch.

Goddess bless these berries bright,
God bless this honey sweet.
Bless this tea I drink,
And this food I eat.

I plan on bringing blueberries and raspberries, making some green ginger tea (with lots of honey!), and a sandwich. I'll sit in the sunshine, the fresh air, and thank my Goddess and God for summer, for guiding me to my path, and yes, for being employed.

Patience, Peace, Serenity

From New Moon to Full I decided to work on having more patience, and finding more time to sit in peace and quiet. Now that the full moon is here, it's time to sit back and see what worked and what didn't.

I've been much more patient with customers at work. More polite, guarding my thoughts more, in general, doing pretty well.

At home, I've definitely been finding more time to focus on me, and on my study of Wicca.

With my visiting grandparents... Well, I've been doing just peachy with my grandmother. My "I was the man of the house at 14, never wasted anything, always have a clean house with all the laundry done" god-complex grandfather? I can say I was never rude to him. To his face, anyway. I will continue to pray that Goddess and God grant me a bit more serenity than I've got.

I like to end with something positive, so:
My mom's recovery from surgery seems to continue going well. She was able to get up and walk a little today! Hopefully she can come home today.

Stress and Negativity

We are having window shades installed, and so the house had to be cleaned. My mom is the type to stress about everything a great deal more than she should. When she stresses, it affects the whole house. The atmosphere is clogged with tension. I don't know if my dad or brothers notice, but it's making me almost physically ill.

The man installing the shades should be here any minute. I desperately need to walk off this feeling, but I'm not supposed to go anywhere right now. I need to at least go outside and ground.

On the bright side, my room is a great deal cleaner than it has been in a while.


(Also, mom found a receipt from a bookstore where I bought a couple fiction books and a wiccan book. Fortunately, it was so faded she couldn't read it...)

Faerie Gifts For Princess Aurora

The coworker who knows I'm wiccan, ML, is expecting her first child in July . She's having a girl, and naming her Aurora . I decided to crochet a pastel plush star, and I added a little magick for protection, health, happiness, peace, friendship, prosperity, wisdom, and restful sleep- with permission, of course. Inside each point of the star is jasmine oil, and in the very middle of the stuffing is a little sachet with 9 herbs (plus a couple extra because the base was a packet of SleepyTime Tea). A few of the herbs I included are; Sage, St. John's Wort, Chamomile, and Eucalyptus.


I made both halves and sewed them most of the way together, then I put the jasmine in each point, stuffed each point, cast a circle, made my intent known, asked the Goddess and God to bless the star, and the baby, and finished assembling the star. I left it on my altar for now.


I'm sure I probably did something wrong, or could have done something better. I think, however, that "It's the thought that counts" really applies here. My intent is for this to bring happiness to little Aurora, and to offer some measure of protection and peace. (and it smells pretty!)