Good Friday

It's Good Friday, Easter is right around the corner. I guess I'm going to the church service tonight. I'll edit this post later to write about how it went.


The performance was nice, about an hour long, and blessedly quiet. The Sunday services are very very loud, headache inducing affairs. This was dark, quiet, peaceful, and relaxed. It was done as the famous "The Last Supper" painting, with people speaking as the 12 disciples. They told a bit about each disciple (nothing I haven't learned already) and then there was communion. I left before the communion.

I would say the best part was the walk to and from church. Even though it was quite chilly .

Secret Witchy Things

I wanted to talk to someone about tools and supplies. I know they aren't necessary, but I like having candles, Blessed water, my wand, etc. The problem with this is that I can't keep my alter set up all the time, I can't just have a nice little jar labeled "Blessed Water", and my candles are of the Yankee varieties. 

My alter is very simple, just a white candle, and two shells- one for the Goddess, one for the God. Very simple, but with personal meaning. I don't live near an ocean, I hardly ever get to visit one, but when I do . . . it's truly a spiritual, magical experience for me. So shells feel appropriate to me.

My Blessed water is kept in a prescription medication bottle (cleaned, physically and magickally). I think all my candles are some scent or other that I liked from Yankee Candles but hadn't gotten around to burning yet. I checked at my local witch nook, though, and they have little candles. They're bigger than birthday cake candles, but much smaller than votive candles. I think I need to pick some of those up.

Fortunately, my family is ok with me using herbal remedies, so I at least don't have to hide my herbs, or my mortar and pestle. I do keep them all in my room, though. Imagine having to sneak downstairs at midnight because you forgot the sage or something!

I have a pentacle necklace I made out of some purple string and a ring from a keychain. When my mom saw it she said that yes, it was very nice, but that I would have to be careful or someone might think I was wearing it because I was a witch or something . . . Yup, that'd be just awful.

I know I complain about this, and I know I'm fortunate to live somewhere safe. I am very blessed. I need to remind myself of that.


In other news, plans are in the works to move out! Not anytime soon, really .  I will probably have to finish my degree first (just community college so far). I have two semesters to go. If I could get an apartment with my friends, I could practice much more openly .  So- save up, move out!

Palm Sunday

I went to the Palm Sunday service with my family yesterday .  At one point, I looked over at my mom to see her so filled with emotion that she had tears in her eyes. I was moved, myself, to see how her spirit was being lifted. She will not feel that way about me. She will not know what I feel during an esbat, or even a walk in the rain. The world is my church, the wind, the rain, the birds are my music, and all of nature is a message.

My mom takes notes during the message at church to help her better understand her chosen faith. I respect that immensely .  If she found one of the books I am reading to help me understand more about my chosen faith, she would be filled with disappointment.

I'm slowly starting my journey out of these cloying walls of secrecy .  I've told three close friends (one of whom is also Pagan- he was the first I told), my boyfriend, and a curious coworker. It's scary, but it feels good knowing that there are people who care about me, and who accept me.

Introductory Post

Hello blogworld, let me introduce myself:
My name is Gwen. I'm a college student, an employee, an avid yet eclectic reader, a nerd, a cat lover, a girlfriend, a daughter, a sister. . .
and I am a wiccan.

I started this blog out of a need to write-to communicate somehow-when I am frustrated, especially at not being able to tell some of the most important people in my life about some of the most important aspects of my life.

I was raised in a loving, close-knit Christian home. I still live at home. Let's face it, it's cheap, convenient most of the time, and like I said, my family is close. The only problem with this is that I have to either not practice my religion, or lie to my parents. Now, because lying hurts the people I lie to "An' it harm none, do what ye will" pretty much means I have to not lie. So does "Thou shalt not bear false witness" (don't lie). Either way, I can't seem to win. My religion says don't lie, but it would be lying to keep telling my parents that I believe in God the same way they do.

I know that what I should do is just come right out and tell them, but as long as I'm talking about not lying. . . I'm scared to do that. I love my parents very much and I am honestly afraid that they will disown me or kick me out when they find out that their little girl is wiccan.