Mixed Topics

This short little post will have a few different topics, I feel a little spazzy . . .

1. I feel better tonight, more rested. I took a walk yesterday, a beautifully scented breeze was blowing, I listened to a chapter in the audiobook I'm working through, and I have been drinking a great deal of water.

2. I have been following and participating in the voting over at Circle of Moms. They're looking for the top 25 blogs by moms of faith. I was saddened to see the attacks on Pagans. I was more saddened to go read one of the posts that quoted the bible, knowing that my mom would have very similar views on the subject.

3. I like to end on a positive note. Despite having to get up very early this morning and work for a very long time, I had a wonderful day. Boyfriend came and picked me up, we walked around the mall for a bit, I found two shirts for a total of $9, got a rather large book of home remedies (as I am very interested in alternative medicine), we looked at and talked about engagement rings as if they were a possibility sometime in the maybe near future (*eeee!!*), then met up with JK and LittleJon for dinner.

Drained

It's still raining on and off. I still love the rain, but everything is getting rather soggy!

Despite getting plenty of sun and taking several walks over the weekend while attending a cousin's commencement ceremony, I feel drained. Tired of routine. I don't want to go to work tomorrow, to be stuck inside all day, doing monotonous tasks for seven hours. I think I've just been going for too long on too little; now I need to recharge.

To end on a positive note, I received almost perfect grades this semester!

Rain and gratitude

It's been raining here for about 5 days straight. I love it. I love the cleansing feeling of walking in the rain.

This post isn't really about the rain, though. I felt the need to take a moment to be thankful. I post a lot about how hard it is to keep such a huge part of me secret. I should stop for a bit and be glad that I do have a few friends who know about my faith, and are fine with it. When I'm with them, I'm just me.

There are five people that I have told: Boyfriend, a friend on a shamanic path, a close friend whose girlfriend is wiccan (call him J.K.), another close friend (LittleJon) , and an open-minded coworker (ML). Being around them, talking with them, it's like the rain; it washes away some of the anxiety, stress, and fear. I thank Goddess and God for my friends.


In other news, I'm working towards getting my license! It's the first step in the process of moving out. Second step: finish my associate's degree. Third step: save up money. Fourth step: get a car. Fifth step: move out.
1)I'm a pretty good driver, I just hate changing lanes and merging!
2)I'm about 5 or 6 classes away from my associate's.
3)I need to work on finding a better job, or a second job.
4)I might have a car lined up already.
5)Boyfriend and J.K. are working on getting an apartment together by the end of the year. I'm planning on moving in with them.

Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day Mom, I love you very much, and I hope that someday you will be able to accept who I am.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there!

Magick at its finest

(I'm not talking about illusions. "magick" is different from "stage magic") Magick for me is really all about the little things. 

    Yesterday, I lost my wallet. I know exactly when and where. It was not turned in at the lost&found. I was very upset, and stressed because this is right before finals week for me. I really couldn't afford to waste the time searching every corner of my room three times like I did. I really didn't have the time to look all over the house like I did. Twice. So now, not only do I have to go to work and school and do all my homework on time, I have to do it without an ID, or my ATM card, or any of my insurance cards.

    This is where the magick comes in. I was so upset and stressed out, I was about to cry. I silently asked the God and Goddess for tranquility.

My dad stayed calm and helped me go over what I should do about the things that were in my wallet instead of being upset with me (like my mom). He told me not to worry, all the things in my wallet were things that could be replaced. He even said he would buy me a replacement tube of my favorite lipgloss.

My cat started following me around the instant I got home, and was extra cuddly when I sat down at my computer. (she sits across my shoulders while I type)

I made some homemade chai, going through the familiar, soothing motions.

I lit a candle (blue, for calm).

I sipped my tea, saying a little wellness spell in my head. (see below)

None of these things seem big or showy, but they were magickal moments, just the same.

(The witches' almanac I have is a "spell-a-day" one, with a little spell listed under every day. I don't usually take spells from other sources without working to make it my own, but this one called out to me as a tea lover.
Make a cup of your favorite tea, add chamomile or jasmine flowers, and while it is steeping, say: "May this brew bring harmony/ and balance to my life./ May this brew bring wellness, too/ in times of stress and strife." Then as you sip your tea, visualize the energy of the tea filling you with calm. It's nearly impossible to sip tea and stay stressed or angry!)

Holidays

    Easter went rather uneventfully, went to the service with my family. Listened to the pastor talk about salvation. Went home, had a wonderful meal, and then dyed eggs.

    Beltane snuck up on me, I completely forgot about it until the day before! I walked to the local witchy shop to stock up on mini spell candles (because they're small, easy to store, and inexpensive). The owner and I started talking, and out of nowhere she said "I don't know why I am telling this to you, I just feel like I
should . . . We are having a Beltane ritual here tomorrow morning, and I would love for you to come!" I told her I would come if I could, bought my candles and started the walk home.

    I wasn't sure if I would go. On the one hand, I had never been to a ritual with other people, and this would be a new and exciting opportunity. On the other hand, they would be doing it out on the front lawn and if someone I knew drove by and saw, I might be outed whether I wanted to be or not.

    I decided to go. It was a good decision, there were about 8 or so other women there, we all built up the circle, we raised energy and put out thanks and requests, Cakes and Ale, and we danced around our maypole tree.
When I got home I held a very small ritual for myself because as good an experience as it was to be with other wiccans, I truly prefer to worship in private. I'm glad I went, though.

    Last but not least, tonight I held my first esbat. Very simple, very small. Mostly just feeling and drawing in the goddess-energies.


    School and work have been taking up a lot of time, so I've been trying to make sure to take a walk at least once a week.